Overcoming Social Anxiety

Social anxiety manifests itself in many ways and can really hold people back in their career, at school or university and, (as the name suggests), in forming friendships and relationships. It can leave us feeling lonely and excluded, even that we are “different” in some way. And a frustration that other people never really get to see the “real me”. Worse, social anxiety can sometimes be misinterpreted by others, who see it as stand-offishness or aloofness.

The root cause of social anxiety are many  but are most likely come from low self esteem, perhaps from a traumatic event or from the corrosive drip-feeding of messages in childhood that led us to believe we were in some way not good enough. Hypnotherapy works in two ways, firstly to build up self-confidence and self belief, helping us to recognise our true value and uniqueness. And secondly, to switch the messaging in our brain so that we no longer feel that sense of being judged in social situations.

Public speaking

For those who suffer from social anxiety that dreaded moment when the manager says “lets go round the table and introduce ourselves” “or “what are your thoughts on this Chloe?” Can be completely overwhelming. The heart races and the mind goes blank. But why is it exactly that being asked for our opinion on something, or even our name and job title should evoke such dread? So many jobs nowadays require people to pitch to a group or address a seminar. Even the Zoom conference call can be intimidating. 

Its often the case that the person being asked does really not enjoy being the centre of attention, feels that their opinion will not be highly valued, even that they are somehow an impostor and saying their job title out loud feels like a lie (see my article on Impostor Syndrome here).

Socialising and dating

At the pub or party, the with social anxiety may be found nervously on the fringes of the conversation, or indeed opting out altogether. For people who are desperately shy, staying home seems a better option, which in turn if left unchecked may lead to  Agoraphobia, whereby the person feels that there may be no escape from an environment that feels threatening. This kind of situation is best helped by practice, and so the more we retreat, the worse the symptoms become. Also, sadly, others may interpret the repeated cancelling of social events as rebuttal, and stop sending invitations, leading to social isolation.

It seems that the person who suffers social anxiety might fear that the office party, pub meet-up or going out on a date fear that they will be clumsy, make a fool of themselves or that others may find them uninteresting and that they will feel left out.

I use hypnosis to provide people with immediate relief by providing the tools they need to deal with the immediate challenges facing them, be it the upcoming party, meeting or audition. I find hypnosis to be a fast and effective way of dealing with social anxiety, as it replaces the negative messages clients have often been telling themselves for many years — things like “I’m not good enough” or “no one wants to hear what  I have to say” — with more positive, supportive messages. This usually leads to a very speedy increase in self-confidence and a reduction in shyness. The therapy part, (simply talking with the client), helps us both to find out the likely roots of their problem, so that they can break this pattern of behaviour and make a life-long change. During treatment clients often say they are becoming more like their “true self”.

To find out more about social anxiety, shyness and lack of confidence please read my article here. If you feel like you may benefit from hypnotherapy, or wish to find out more, please contact me