How can hypnosis can help children through anxious times?

With so many challenges facing them, it’s perhaps no wonder that our children are struggling at the moment. With the normal challenges of childhood magnified by social media and so much happening in the world to create anxiety, it’s sadly inevitable that I should see an increase in people seeking my services as a child therapist

Therapy for children

At my practice in St Albans I see children from about 7 years upwards. I also provide therapy for teens who have their own set of challenges as they progress towards adulthood. I treat many issues including loneliness, bullying, divorce, problems communicating, anxiety depression, phobias, ADHD, OCD, self harm, and issues around gender and sexuality

Does hypnotherapy work?

Hypnotherapy works very well for children and teens. For younger children it draws on their imagination to nurture characteristics such as self-esteem and confidence. With teens, hypnosis provides the relaxing mindset that breaks the adult/child barrier, allowing them the confidence to open up and express themselves and get a fresh take on things.

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is simply being in a deeply relaxed state. In this state you are more receptive to suggestions made by the therapist. You remain completely in control and can open your eyes and be awake any time. Most people find hypnosis to be a calm and enjoyable experience. For more information watch my video here

Can hypnosis cure anxiety?

In my article below I discuss how hypnotherapy can help children and teens with a variety of issues, including anxiety, social anxiety. Everyone is unique and has their own set of challenges. If you wish to find out if hypnotherapy can help your child, (or if you are a young adult and wish to know if hypnotherapy can help you), please contact me for a free twenty minute consultation where we can go into more detail. Or read my article here.

How does hypnotherapy work?

Hypnotherapy works by helping us to calm our conscious mind and to see things in a new way. In this peaceful, relaxed state, guided by a therapist,  we can replace our learned thoughts and behaviours that are having a harmful impact on our lives, with new positive ones. Some may fear that hypnosis is mind control. But actually, the client is always aware of what is going on and has complete control to ‘wake’ themselves up from this state if they choose to. More and more people are recognising the power and effectiveness of hypnotherapy to help ourselves, or our children, to deal with life’s challenges.

The children, teens and students who come to see me usually see some benefit from one single session. Indeed, some things like phobias just need one single session to cure. However, many clients that see me are carrying a problem they have been struggling for some time. It will be certainly good for them to have someone to talk to, confide in and help them re-frame their problems so that they can cope better. For these clients, whatever their age, I use a mixture of hypnotherapy and traditional talking therapy. I see people at my practice in St Albans. Hypnotherapy is also very effective online To find out more about child hypnotherapy watch my video here. To find out more about me watch my video here or click here. To read more about Child Therapy you can read my article here. Or contact me directly.

Article: How hypnosis can help children through anxious times

First Published in Hypnotherapy Directory

I have been working with children and young adults for over twenty years now. How does my approach differ when I am working with a child as opposed to an adult client? Do I always use hypnosis when working with children? What age range do I work with? How well do children respond to therapy? In writing this article I have tried to answer some of the common questions I get asked by parents seeking therapy for their child, but first a little bit of background information.

Ask any therapist: the demand for therapy has increased quite considerably over the last few years. This is true of adults, who are reeling from the impact of Covid and the associated health anxiety, isolation, increased drinking, loss of income. Now we can add conflict and worries about the economy to that list. Sadly, those anxieties are shared by children and teens, whose worried parents seem to seek out my help in a steady stream.

I do not personally feel lockdown, war or the economic worries are  the sole cause of this. True, if you are a child being cut off from friends, extended family, school, the chance to play outdoors or visit the cinema have all taken their toll. They have missed out on totemic rites of passage: freshers week, graduation, gap year spent backpacking with friends, festivals, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. Its miserable enough for a fifty year old to have to miss out on a summer holiday, but for someone who has only been on the planet for twenty years covid has taken ten percent of their lives.

Anxious teens and children turn up at my door suffering with all kinds of anxiety. It feels that we are heaping more and more of a burden on the shoulders of young people who are not able to bear such a heavy load. And in an age of rolling 24 hour news, parents and children are fed a diet of anxiety from around the world, which inevitably trickles down to our children, whether directly, via the breakfast table or by osmosis.

The unique problems of being a child

Irrespective of what is going on in the world, children and teens have always had their own unique set of challenges. It’s what we call “growing up” but because of that tend to sometimes overlook the very real challenges our children face.

My approach with children and young teens is therefore careful, supportive and patient. Its likely that the children who come to see me feel that they simply have not been heard for a very long time. It’s true that some people in their lives may have provided an illusion of listening, but that is not the same as really listening; giving a person your full attention without an agenda of your own and fully accepting anything that person may wish to share with you in a non-judgemental way. This brings me on to another important thing; rapport.

When a child comes to see me I cannot possibly understand the things that are important to them. Though over the years I have learned a few of the names of the Pokemon characters I certainly don’t know any of their unique special powers, or which is the rarest trading card. Much of the music and the anime art some of my  clients like I do not personally enjoy myself. But this is not the point. The point is that I need to try and understand why these things are important to them, and why, not by faking it but by having a real interest. Psychotherapists like Rogers talk about being able to “take a walk in the client’s shoes”. What does it feel like to be them? This is key to gaining a real understanding of the child’s inner world, and the challenges they face.

“A trusting heart will open immediately”

I’m not the kind of therapist who peppers the articles they write with meaningful quotes, but for the one above I will make an exception. Parents are often surprised by how quickly their children will open up to me, talking freely about the problems that affect them after months of complete silence and withdrawal. Why is this? Parents will often say: “I don’t get it, I’m a really understanding person. If they told me what was wrong, I’d understand”.

Unfortunately, some children and young adults I work with do not have parents who are understanding. Sometimes their parents are bullying, aggressive, punitive, judgemental and manipulative. Tragically, some of the kids I see have been abused physically, sexually and emotionally. But usually a parent who brings their child to therapy is a caring, supportive parent that has tried other ways of getting to the root cause of what is upsetting their child. There are many reasons a child will not share their experiences with a parent, for example, they may not wish to burden an anxious parent further, or be seen to be taking sides following divorce. They may feel shame that they are letting their parents down by not being good at school, not being good at sports or not being good at standing up to the playground bully. Or they may be deeply confused themselves and feel that there is no point talking to their parents; how could they understand or advise on a problem they don’t fully understand themselves?

What age range do I work with?

I see children generally from age 7 up. They come to see me face to face in my therapy room or I work with them online, whichever works best for that individual child. I make sure that whichever therapy environment I work in it is very welcoming for children and age-appropriate. For younger children that usually means there will be toys to play with, and ways to express themselves artistically if they wish; crayons, play-dough, lego.

Does hypnosis work with kids?

Hypnosis usually works wonderfully with children, who generally find it much easier to access their imagination than adults. To them, it feels like they are simply closing their eyes and listening to a story. However, its important to lay the ground for this first and to talk through with them what hypnosis is and how it works.

Older children will usually be intrigued to find out what hypnosis is; they are inquisitive creatures whose minds are open to new ideas. Usually their experience is shaped by hypnotists they have seen working on television, so my first task is usually to explain that my goal is to help them resolve the issues they are facing and not to make them cluck like a chicken! Once we get past that common misconception, many children find hypnosis an enjoyable, relaxing experience. However hypnosis is not for everyone, its simply another therapeutic tool I use. Some children simply wish to sit and talk with me, and gain great benefit from doing so.